[I honestly do not know what I did with Part I. I probably deleted it by accident or ate it.]
If you want your D-type to do something, you have to tell them or ask them. D-types don’t have special mind-reading powers. If they did, that would suck all the fun out of it. (lit: begging.)
“I wish my D-type would do xyz to me.” isn’t going to get you very far unless you open your mouth and tell them. If it’s fear that’s holding you back, write it down, hand it to them. We’re travelling back to a basic building block of communication. Relationships thrive on that. You wouldn’t be in a D/s relationship unless you discussed it in some form or another, right?
My Dominant often asks, “What do you want me to do?” not only because I think it’s hot she’s opening the floor to me telling her (or showing her, because I’m a very ‘hands on’ hohoho kind of girl.) but because SHE CAN’T READ MY MIND.
Something’s bothering me? I tell her. I need a fuck? I tell her. I NEED A FUCKING CUDDLE SESH? I TELL HER.
See where I’m going with this?
You want something? You tell or ask for it, and then you either discuss it, or your D-type will say, “Ok, next play session, we’ll work on that.” That being whatever it is you want more of or to start doing.
Since I’ve seen a lot of baaaaaawwwwing around these parts about LDRs/loneliness, here’s a few pointers from someone’s who in the same boat:
Well gee, what can I do then, Kitty?
Here’s what I do:
I pick up my phone I read over old conversations, a few times or twelve
I look at the pictures I have saved in it while I’m at it
I play a video game, I stick to to it to completion
I read a book
I ‘spring cleaned’ my bedroom, got rid of a lot of shit I don’t even wear/use/need any more
The laundry that’s piling up
Tweet/IM with friends about mundane shit
Update one of my MANY MANY blogs
I play Words With Friends with random opponents, friends, and family members
I play The Sims, and exhaust all the possible ways you can kill them
I catch up on TV shows that I’ve been neglecting on Hulu or Netflix
I watch movies on Netflix
I have an anime convention I attend for three days in June, I come back with tonnes of new and old friendships
and much, much, much more.
By the time I feel a pang of loneliness, Rin is sending me a text message or ringin’ my phone.
Do I have bouts of loneliness? Sure! But I power through it, and get on with my life because my life doesn’t stop just ‘cos I’m lonely. Laundry’s not going to wash itself, yanno.
So please, don’t sit around and baw, because that’s only going to make time go slower and the slower time is, the longer the gap is between chats with your partner.
Get off your butt and DO something and before you know it, your SO is contacting you again via your preferred method of contact