Being the Valentine’s Day cynic I am, I figured I’d be nice though and allow those who enjoy it a blog post on how I first met Rin, and how we got to the place in time where we are now.
In the Beginning….
On June 10th, 2011 I remembered this pretty person passing me. I wasn’t in cosplay then, but I had to have their picture. They were cosplaying Oerba Yun Fang, one of my favorite characters from Final Fantasy XIII.
Later on that day, my friends and I finally got into our hotel room, and I was able to change. Be a bit more…recognizable.
I eventually found Rin again and was so overjoyed that every time we ran into each other, we hugged. Every time they put their arms around me, I felt this spark. A tugging feeling.
Unfortunately for me, they had a boyfriend at the time. And I too, was dating. That tugging feeling however, would not go away no matter how much I tried to ignore it.
The next day, I had gotten a photo with them.
I remember standing on-line for a panel, somehow finding them on Facebook on my phone and sending them a friend request. A few minutes later they accepted it.
They were there. Always there. Somehow appearing. The tugging feelings. Still there.
Feelings I shouldn’t have when I’m attached to someone, and they, again, were too.
Throughout the rest of the year, we spoke every once in a while.
Eventually, they parted ways with their boyfriend. I remember silently thinking, “Yesssssss.” I know, this is probably horrible of me.
In May 2012, a few weeks before the next convention, they sent me a message on Facebook how excited they were to see me and meet up again. I gave them my phone number. and we started texting, nonstop. Almost every day.
The tugging feelings returned, but I again, suppressed them,
They and I spent a majority of the 2012 convention together, and when we were separated, we sent texts back and forth. They were my person with the sunshine hands.
I took every opportunity to hold those hands.
I got bold, and kissed them. I haven’t kissed anyone that wasn’t family since my first boyfriend in High School. Of course, it’s worth mentioning they weren’t my first same-sex kiss. Everyone’s kissed someone of the same gender identity if they played Truth or Dare or Spin The Bottle in their lives.
I remember inwardly screaming after I kissed them, that I couldn’t let this person get away.
On Sunday, June 10 2012, I fell ill due to adrenaline and an anxiety attack triggered from the hotel evacuating at about 3:30am due to a fire alarm. To this day we really don’t know what was the cause, but all we know that running down six flights of stairs was not fun.
I went home from the con early.
….And how we got here
Upon arriving home, those feelings that I’ve been suppressing and hiding eventually came to a head. I was left to my own devices to stew with these feelings.
I had three choices:
1. Let someone who was a little close to home, go
2. Continue what I had that had an uncertain future. The relationship had a rift in it from intentional lack of communication for almost two months on my previous partner’s part that I wasn’t alerted to beforehand
3. Let them BOTH go
I sent a long iMessage to my previous partner, outlining that if they hated me forever, I probably deserved it, but I could not go on suppressing my feelings for Rin like this, and broke it off. It was better than cheating, and I don’t cheat on people. I’ve been cheated on, I know how it felt. I’m not about to do the same thing to someone else.
The next day, things started to even out. I spent some time texting with Rin. We discussed what I was feeling for the past year, and about how our relationship would be essentially long-distance for a while. I was okay with this. If I was capable of handling a trans-Atlantic relationship, I could handle 100 miles or so of distance.
They eventually said,
“If you’re okay with it, then I’m okay with it.”
And that’s how exactly a year later from sending them a friend request on Facebook, I became their girlfriend.
June 11th, 2013 will be a year.
We’ll spend three days together two days before this milestone, and I can’t wait.
This is the person I plan to legally marry in the state of New York.
But we’re going to enjoy each other’s company for a while before we decide to make the marriage decision.