I’m surprised I have gone this long without blogging about this particular ‘debate’ that floats about the kinky community both online and off.
I’m coming forth with what I personally feel on this ‘debate’ and it’s just that: an opinion on a subject. You as always are allowed to accept or reject it.
Here we go!
So, If you’re pretty aware on whatever kink-aware social media site you choose, (most often FetLife and Tumblr.) you might be running into this debate of submission to a Dominant partner[s] being a gift.
Some say it is, some say it isn’t.
For me personally, I honestly do not believe it is.
I see it more so as a privilege. I see it was a privilege because privileges can be revoked if they’re abused.
Let’s work with this ‘gift’ theory.
You got your submission wrapped up all nice and you offer it to your Dominant partner[s]. Things are going well. A few days, weeks, months, perhaps years go by and then things start souring. Despite all your best efforts to salvage the relationship, it’s not going well so you have to part ways for you to pursue other people and perhaps learn from what made this relationship go south.
Remember that awesomely wrapped up gift that you gave your partner[s]? It’s being returned to the store, or worse, carelessly thrown in the garbage. You put your heart and soul into deciding to give that gift and now it’s being chucked.
That’s a pretty crushing way to think of something, right?
This is why I don’t think of submission as a gift I give to someone, because the thought of them just tossing it in the garbage without a care in the world when a relationship ends is just torturous.
Sure, you might find someone who might not be so inconsiderate of your pretty little gift, but 9 times out of 10 a person would like to get rid of the ‘baggage’ from the previous relationship in order to not fail the new one should they choose to pursue it.
Not only that, you gift someone without expecting anything in return. So in this case it’s meaning that you’re giving your submission without expecting DOMINANCE in return.
Think of it as being a privilege to be able to serve your Dominant[s] and perhaps then it would be a lot less soul-crushing should the relationship end up dead in the water.
Another way to look at your submission is as an even exchange. You’re submitting, they’re Dominating. One doesn’t exist without the other. You’re walking hand in hand.
If you would like, here’s some other posts that touch upon this very subject:
Princess Honeycunt: Submission is a Gift
There’s so many more, and you can spend hours probably just punching submission is a gift into Google and read the varying opinions on the subject.