On being a special-snowflake demigod

or rather, a demisexual.

Rainbow snowflake
Rainbow snowflake (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This post might’ve been more appropriate during Asexual Awareness Week, but unfortunately, I cannot control when the inspiration paddle’s gunna slap me in the ass, so one’s going to have to work with me here.

I’m here to talk type to you more about the things that make me, well…me. If you’re new, I’m a flaming homo. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gayyyyy.

It’s a lot more complex than that, though. There’s a lot of technicalities, but it’s a lot easier to say “I’m gay.” because not a lot of people know the underlying long-winded explanation. Nobody’s going to come wired knowing what a demisexual is, nor the whole spectrum of romantic orientations. Did you know you can HAVE a romantic orientation? Yep. You can be romantically attracted to whatever sex and/or gender identity you want. I am personally omniromantic [see omnisexual below, just apply it to a romantic, non-sexual relationship.]

You’re lucky if a person knows past gay, straight, bisexual or even omnisexual. [pansexual, I prefer using omnisexual because then you dodge the whole, THEY’RE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO PANS?!? No, you dimwit.]

But yes, I am sexually attracted to people who have breasts and a vagina. However, that sexual attraction doesn’t happen on a whim. I am devoid of primary sexual attraction.

Primary sexual attraction is that attraction you get when you see a stranger and you then wanna have sex with ’em. You think they’re smokin’ hot. Primary sexual attraction is the culprit of sorts for your drunken one-night stands with that person you just met at the bar three hours earlier.

I only experience secondary sexual attraction, which is basically taking primary’s definition, but you actually know that person over a good amount of time, instead of it being a stranger.

So in my case, if we took you back to 2011 when I first met Rin, I only thought at the time that they were VERY aesthetically pleasing to my eyeballs. You guessed it, I thought they were attractive, but I didn’t want to jump their bones! Even if I did experience that primary attraction, they had a boyfriend at the time and I was attached as well. [whomp whomp whoooooooomp.]

This long-winded word-vomit has a word: demisexual. I’m only sexually attracted to people after an emotional bond is formed with the person.

Where does special-snowflake Demigoddess fit into all this? Simple. There are people out there who do their erasure thing. Tell us that we’re just ~making up words~ and trying to be all special with our badass selves.