NOTE: this is mostly an update on my health. if doctor-y / health drivel isn’t something you rather get into…come back another day, friend.
overall, i’m healthy. i’ll probably live to be 100. there’s a few things i’ll have to do NOW to keep myself from any issues say, 10 years from now. one of them is to see a foot specialist for a shoe lift. if you haven’t had the chance to see in me in person, i am literally crooked and yesterday’s doctor visit confirmed that. it’s not noticeable when i’m sitting as “my bones all fall into place” as they put it, but when standing and walking i take a lean due to the crook and the limp.
if i don’t do anything about it, there’s a pretty good chance i’ll be in extreme pain for the rest of my life. i mean, i do have joint pains now and i’ve always had them, but it’ll only get worse if i don’t do something correct the crook. and it’s not all going to auto-magically go away with the lift either, because joint pain comes with the territory of my condition and it’s something i’m stuck with but the good thing is, i can manage it.
it kinda grumps me out a bit that i’ll have to wear sneakers with cosplay now, but i’ll take my health over accuracy any day and the purists can shove it up their ass.
my heart rate is ridiculous. my previous doctor and this doctor both flipped out over it. I’M NOT SORRY YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME NERVOUS. but anyway, i need more exercise and so does the dog so i’ll be taking him for walks and i invested in a Fitbit Charge HR to get this heart rate thingie under control and to prove that my heart rate being raised is directly related to my anxiety disorders. when i am calm, my heart rate is within normal range [perhaps even lower, which is probably freaky.]
on the note of my two anxiety disorders and depression, i’m biting the bullet and seeing a therapist. i finally convinced myself that it is NOT giving up and in fact is beneficial. i’m taking the stigma and i’m going to kick its ass. sure, i’ve seen a few therapists in the past to diagnose and have it in a professional’s wording that i DO HAVE ISSUES [WHO DOESN’T???], but never went as far as sticking with a treatment option. Mothership sees someone for cognitive behavior therapy, and is gunna refer me out.
it’s time to stop dicking around and do something. i think sixteen year old me would appreciate that.