# 704 | Mall Adventures! Pride Month!

Before I get into yesterday’s fun, i just wanted to say a very happy PRIDE MONTH!! to all my fellow non-straights, whatever you happen to identify as on the LGBT spectrum. I hope your month is G-R-E-A-T!

After picking up Rinny from the bus station yesterday, we headed straight to the mall! I was feeling particularly lazy so i opted for a mobile order to be ready when we arrived and you know what?

  • it makes me smile to see my chosen name on things
  • i made bank on stars with a simple tea latte & cookie order because i got 10 from the order plus a 25 star promotion on any order this week! that brings me up to 65 stars! \ o / ⭐️

We adopted a Guar from Think Geek we called Gary and I tracked down Elliot and Darlene funkos in Hot Topic! Darlene actually wasn’t on the website so I didn’t think she was actually going to be available but lo and behold there she was next to Elliot! Our last stop was to GameStop for the PS4 version of Stardew Valley.

#703 | Prepare To Exit 20s on Right

As i start my 29th year on Planet Earth, i have often gone back and forth with feelings of ‘i’m okay with this, it’s not much different than 28 right?” and “HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I’M GOING TO BE THIRTY NEXT YEAR AND I HAVE SHIT-FUCK-ALL TO SHOW FOR IT. HOW FUCKING PATHETIC IS THAT?

The first half of my 20s were in short, messy. i was figuring a lot of stuff out in regards to my sexuality, gender and where my relationship during that point and time was going. [spoiler alert: it wasn’t really going anywhere.] Eventually, i met my now fiance and things started to even out again.

However, you get to a point in your life where “What do you got goin’ for you?” and all the while you got friends and acquaintances landing that dream job, getting married and/or popping out kids like candy. i can simply avoid all this “Ugh.” feelings about being stagnant by simply avoiding Facebook but in the same vein, i won’t know how peoples’ lives are going because NOBODY BOTHERS TO PICK UP A GODDAMN PHONE ANYMORE. Hell, even texting is falling / has fallen by the wayside in favor for social media platforms.

Upside? i’m getting married in two years time. that should be enough to calm my frazzled mind, but the other part of me wants much more than my broken, tired body can even provide.

In any event, my 29th birthday was quiet for the most part. Birthgiver and Dad took me to The Stonefire for dinner and then we came home to chocolate on chocolate cupcakes baked by The Birthgiver. i had the usual onslaught of birthday wishes on social media, and a couple friends even gifted me with some things! My Fiance even bought me Dashie in plush form and every time I look at him I laugh because I hear in my head, “WHADDUP! IT’S DASHIE. AND WELCOME TO…”

The cutest thing though, is the sign my Dad made for me and he spelled Birthday wrong! That made it really special, mostly because my Dad is a terrible speller and we like to poke fun at him for it. Lol

#702 [Hello Darkness, My Old Friend]

Depression is lying in your bed for four days straight, staring at the ceiling

Depression is socially isolating yourself while still checking in from time to time so people don’t worry about you

Depression is living on water and toast with mayo

Depression is going over the many different ways you could kill yourself without causing any alarm to the other people in the house

Depression is a roller coaster trip of emotions, in which the happiness of an idol noticing you is very short lived

Depression is seriously considering checking yourself into the ER, but then you remember how shitty American healthcare treats people with mental illness

Depression is NOT “Lol i feel sad sometimes.”


it’s been quite some time since i had depression hit me THIS badly. i’ve had depression spells before but they only would last a short amount of time and then i could freely move on with my life.

it just didn’t help that it rained here for nearly four days straight and even with my sunlight-mimicking bulbs on full blast, nothing was making me happy.

#693

made my follow-up CAT Scan appointment for September 1st. let’s just hope whatever’s up with my lung didn’t grow bigger and it’s not something that needs biopsy and is just scar tissue from a chest tube from when i was a wee one.

cos my anxiety is like, “Kitty, you have lung cancer and you’re going to die.”.